Can you hear me now?

Houston..do you copy.
I have now spent over two years as an expat in Korea. One undeniable truth is the value of communicating with others. Like the moon that communication waxes and wanes like the moon, but there is one great truth, for an expat it is of critical importance.
We now live in a day and age where you can literally talk to someone across the world instantly. You can use instant video and messaging from the tops of mountains and that is not to mention other forms of social media and simple texting and tweeting which has replaced the need to write using any form of pen and paper. We are the technology age. In the end though it does not matter what form of communication you use, the important thing is that you actually use it.
I am not saying that I am innocent in this but as I study more about my family and their past, it is amazing how a few words make all the difference in the world.
From an expat perspective here are some thoughts:

First is that I knew all along that communication from home would slowly dwindle the longer I was away, it doesn't make it easier. It is true that if you work at it, you find another circle of friends that become your family while you are working but it is not the same. You have some shared experiences but that only goes so far.

Second is the written word can be priceless in hard times and in good times. It doesn't take much. Just a line or two but it can change the outlook of your entire day. This goes for me as well as everyone I know. If I think about writing or calling someone, I need to stop right there and do that. Not put it off anymore. Odds are that person needs to hear from you too.

Third is to never think that what your mundane day to day events are not interesting to read about. They make at least this expat feel back at home sometimes while eating a meal I can't even pronounce. You never have to wait to go on a vacation or have a major event happen to write about it.

Try it sometime. Ever think back 100 years and just wonder what the generations did before to spend their days. Pretty sure that they wouldn't be on a computer writing this blog. If you don't feel like dropping a line to someone you haven't talked to in awhile, write to yourself just a log of what you did today. In a year open it. You might be surprised at the power of just that. Now imagine what it means for someone away from home to hear what you find so "boring." Imagine what that Christmas card means. Or an email just saying what the weather is like at home and that is apple picking time when someone lives in an entirely different climate than you.
It's keeping history a part of present thought. It's important. If we start losing the ability to socialize, which has already greatly declined, what will become of us in the years ahead? Face to face interaction is already becoming a thing of the past and it is often awkward. Now where will technology take us? For all of the amazing things it has offered, what happens as we rely on it more and more.

So can you hear me now or did you space off halfway through this blog to post on facebook or answer a text? Think about it.

Curly Hair Girl Goes Straight Haired and Other Observations

It is my third year of ups and downs in Korea and I have started to wonder what kind of mark am I leaving on this place and how is it changing me in return?
First was today's excursion for my haircut. Now the last time I had a haircut was in May, before I left for the summer. I used to be a routine monthly, by the book kind of kid. One amazing hairdresser that I have know since I was 12. I felt insane if I didn't go in every 4 weeks. Here I am going months at a time.

Then comes the situation of what to do with said motley hair. The heat and humidity cannot seem to be beaten for the curly and frizzy haired humans of the planet. So today I have taken one step closer in my Asian adventures and had my hair permanently straightened. We will see if this treatment holds true or not for the average American head of hair.

When I first went in they asked if I was here for the cut and perm. And I said "no perm just straight." So blood pressure already jumped with that. Can you imagine! I would look like a poodle on crack if I had a perm! Then one hair wash and head massage, love that part. A cut and apply magic potion. So far so good. Then second wash and head massage, still love that. Blow dry out and I look like the frizzy bride of Frankenstein and I am thinking, this may not work. Then a second cut and application of magic potion but this time with curlers so I asked my trusted hair stylist... "This is not a perm right?" she told me that this would help it straighten and flatten. (Mind blown) Then time for third wash and you guessed it, head massage. Then a blow dry and final styling. I told my hairstylist I didn't believe it could be done. She said "then I am a miracle worker today." That she was. Now apparently this will only start to curl as it grows out. That will be something to monitor.
But it made me question my stylist. "Do Korean people get their hair straightened?" She said that they do quite often. What? They always have straight hair! Look at me being so stereotypical! I felt bad that I even thought that way!

Isn't the rule usually that all those who have curly hair want straight and those who have straight hair want curly? Much in the same vein as some like seafood but not fish, or some like tomatoes but not ketchup. Do you like cucumbers and pickles or just one or the other? We always seem to have these daily contradictions, sometimes about such little things but they can change your entire day. Not enough milk for my full bowl of cereal. Too much sauce on my lunch. Coke but no Pepsi. Why do we get this way? Why does it even matter in the grand scheme of life? Why do we get angry about something so small and really insignificant in the global perspective. If it is the end of the world you really aren't going to think about how your cereal was a little extra dry today.

But as hypocritical and obnoxious as we can be about the little things in life, it is time I encourage all of us, to take care with the people around you. The family whether brought together by blood or circumstance. We cannot allow ourselves to wallow in petty problems with others. This is a big challenge for me right now. So maybe I am just asking that the next time we yell at the car in front of us for being total jerks we just think for a minute about the bigger picture. Maybe because that person was a jerk you weren't in an accident today. (Granted sometimes they are just jerks plain and simple) That is there loss. Let us embrace where we are for now. With hair adventures, life adventures, and whatever comes around the corner next. Thank you to my adopted home for making what was normally a routine part of my life something to think about on a much different level.

Special thanks to Clare Hubbard for always sharing the haircut experience with me. It never is the same way twice. Mark and Isaiah, thanks for letting me borrow your wife and your mum for a bit today. It was so good to have that time!








(and for all of you worriers notice I didn't cut it really short again so you can relax a bit)

Chuseok 2013 A Time to GIve Thanks

It is time to take pause in on of my craziest years of teaching to honor the holiday time of my host country and second home. It is Chuseok. A time to give thanks. A time to honor family present and past.
I think that at first I need to just give thanks to God who got me here and is testing me and changing me in ways I never thought possible. If you don't have a higher power to help you with this kind of adventure then I don't think you can make it.
The second thing to really contemplate is the concept of family. Those who I consider family has greatly expanded. I have learned that family doesn't have to be blood relatives. When they hurt I hurt. When I can help them, I am ready for that. When they leave and move on, I grieve that loss but I do my best to use modern technology to keep in touch.
The romantic notions of living overseas, writing letters, and living for new adventures while being isolated has sort of worn off.
But then I see some of the faces of my "kids." Adopted nieces and nephews from all over the world and I can't explain how lucky I am. This doesn't even begin to cover all of my new brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, who keep an eye on me.
This is a side of this adventure you can never explain to anyone else or expect. When folks move on, which is completely normal, it is a break in the family in some ways but for now in this place and time I am completely and totally thankful. Each one of these folks are a blessing and are engraved in my heart now. I don't think I could have appreciated this fully without coming to Korea.
As much as I want to find the happiness of a family for myself, I am quite content in being a part of the many families I have here in Korea. There is nothing better. I love having the chance to teach them about my life and growing up and getting into mischief with them. Just one big kid is all I think I will ever be. But a parent to my students and a family member to all of these little ones and their parents is something I can't complain about. So on the days I feel a pity party coming on for all I don't have. It is time to reflect, take a moment, and remember some of these things that I do have. I really am so very very lucky.
Thank you Korea and your Chuseok Holiday for reminding me all of the great things I really have if I take a moment and remember it.