Another Type of Hero

When I decided to be a teacher it was pictures like this Norman Rockwell portrait that made me think that I was going to be a part of a great calling. The majority of my teachers cared and nurtured me for my entire life. Some pushed and encouraged me to levels I never though I could reach.
Now I am what would be considered a long term member of the teaching profession.
From my first year to now my 18th year I never that this would be a profession that would become life threatening.

Those of you who know me understand that I am not a fool. There has been a long and steady decline in the respect that the education profession has been given. In ways, we learned that we must be a little less caring. No more hugs if a child needs it. Don't sit and talk in a room with a student having trouble with the door closed....lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit. Don't expect any more respect or money for that matter for making a difference in the life a child.
Through all of this, educators became less nurturing and took on more and more new regulations handed down by others that we must make sure that these students pass this test and that test and we are penalized in our profession if we do not get the job done.

With this most recent shooting in Oregon, I finally realized that teachers now go to school to do the best they can, to care for children even at arms length, with no guarantee that they themselves will return home to their families each night because someone decides it is judgement day in a classroom.
I am watching all of this from a country that does not have a law giving individuals the right to carry their own weapons but the leader to the north threatens the lives of everyone around me nearly every single day. Who is more at risk? Seriously?

I am deeply thankful and indebted to our armed forces, police, fire, paramedics, doctors, nurses, and all those I cannot name right now. They are heroes in their fields but now I think that there needs to be a new member added to ranks and not for the right reasons but for all of the gut-wrenchingly wrong ones. I think teachers should be right up there as heroes now as well. I feel more convicted of that than ever, especially in the USA.

Teachers now risk their lives to go to work and do the job they were hired to do. I don't think there will ever be a teachers memorial on the Washington Mall that will honor those who have lost their lives tragically in all of these school shootings. But there is not one teacher that I know of that would not willingly place themselves directly in front of anyone threatening violence towards their students. If that isn't a hero then I really do not know what one is.

So tonight I just say my prayers for all the victims and their families but I also send strength and love to all of my teachers past and present and all those who I know in the teaching profession for the week ahead. Stay safe. Stay strong. Love the children beyond all of the political bull. Return to your families every night. You are heroes to me.

Oh Norman Rockwell what your paintings look like if you had lived long enough to see all that I have now seen in this profession.

I wonder.

We Are F-R-A-M-I-L-Y

Time to send up a big part of my heart tonight.

I am not going to lie. Coming back to Korea for year five has been really difficult. It is a home in so many ways but it isn't Idaho. I go back to Idaho and it is home in so many ways but never is as it once was before I left. I am not saying that is a bad thing. I also don't always agree with the adage "Home is where you hang your hat" either.

For me home is where you are loved for the person you are, in the place that you are, doing something that enriches your soul. It is not a physical space on a map it is inside your heart. If that is really true, if I subscribe to that theory, then what makes home truly home to me?

Easy.

The people. The people in my life make anywhere in the world my home. As we become socially more introversive and turn to every electronic gadget known to human kind, our family dynamic changes as well. It has to because of time and distance. Socially gatherings at the local dance hall every Friday night, meeting your significant other at the top spot for food or a cold drink doesn't happen much except in the movies. Because of this, enlarging your family in the more old fashioned way is becoming harder and harder to do. It is to the point that seeing someone find a great relationship to be a part of and get married and start a family is truly a rare gem of an experience to witness. So I can watch my time on this earth slip away or I can redefine a critical aspect of it. Let's define shall we?  What was once my family has become my framily. My blood relatives will always be at the core of my life but my friends are as much a part of who I am today as anyone I could be biologically linked to.

Maybe it is a midlife crisis talking. Maybe it is the fear that I will be alone the remainder of my life in the more traditional sense.  Who really knows the reason, but I am putting it out there that my true friends are now a large part of what I define as my family. The amazing part of this is it makes my life so rich globally. I can find framily across the world now. I can know that when I am in need of a bit of wisdom or encouragement it is out there in so many different time zonesI can hardly count them all. I will not have to grow old alone anymore. Someone will care. They may not be on the same continent that I am on but someone will care.

But I am not a fool in this declaration. This is not the yellow brick road leading to all things perfect. Framilies have the same intricacies as any family does. They fight. There can be jealousy. They hurt intentionally or unintentionally. They don't play well with others in the framily unit. They take physically, emotionally, and even spiritually at times. They also laugh with you and share in your confidences, joys, and sorrows. They hope for the best for you even if that means letting go of you for months or years at a time. They love unconditionally. They will sacrifice for you when you need them the most. Just as with any family though, the hardest part of being in a framily is that sometimes they just leave. Even harder still, you have to let them go. With that comes grief just like in any other form of relationship.

Knowing the positives and negatives of what a framily has to offer, I wouldn't change it. In fact I think it is a concept that is growing more and more each day. I am just dang lucky I have what I have now. It is often said that you can count your true friends on one hand. That may still hold true. But now my true friends, my framily, just happen to live around the world. Whether it is tomorrow or two years from now, if I reach out to them the will still love me for who I am and we will keep making memories and supporting each other as if no time has passed at all.

How awesome is that? Seriously. That is really freakin' awesome! The rhetoric of the media these days commonly asks us to rethink our definition on many different, highly charged emotional, moral, and sometimes just plain ridiculous issues. Sometimes it is just to win favor for their way of thinking.

I am not asking any of you who read this to rethink what family and home mean to you. I am just saying that for me, the landscape looks different and I am content in the fact that I know I am going to be okay no matter where I end up in the world. For me it is infinitely more valuable to invest in such a caring community of friends. Each are perfectly imperfect just like me.

Framily Rules.

Blessings

A word that has become a huge part of my vocabulary in the past few years is the word Blessing.

I hear it or use it in various situations. 

"What a blessing that is."

"You are blessed"

"I feel blessed"

"Bless you for that"

This word. This word is used so much that I wanted to really find out what the difference is between a blessing or being blessed and just having good luck or being just a happy person is. Am I using it in the right conotation? Should I be using another phrase?

So as with any of these sorts of questions, I look to good old Miriam-Webster for my answers. I even backed up my information with a few other dictionary sources. The first thing I stumbled upon is that the word blessing can be used in so many ways it is hard to wrap my head around.

This word can glorify, it can bestow good of any kind, it can be a request to God for divine favor upon something, it can even condemn. Some of my favorite definitions involved the bestowing of a gift or favor by God upon a person. It can be an invocation of God's blessing upon another. It can bring about praise, devotion, worship, approval, and happiness among other things.

That is an awful lot to live up to for one word in the English vernacular. What I am choosing to take away from this, as I hope others may as well, is that the word blessing has great power to do good verses harm. I have learned that it is okay to use it but truly only if I mean it. A blessing or blessing others should be done in good faith and with good intentions. It should not be a cast aside flippant response. We have plenty of other words for something like that. Telling someone that I feel so blessed that they are in my life has so much more weight to it. It carries part of my heart and my true intentions whether I say it out loud or write it down.

So if I have ever told any of you that you are a blessing in my life, know that I really meant it. You are someone that has brought happiness to my life and I want to return that favor upon you.
When it all comes out in the wash, I guess it is just important to remind ourselves that words have a much greater impact than we give them credit for at times. I often hear parents say "use your words" as their young children are developing the use of language. We as adults should use our words but also be conscientious of the words we are using.

With a word like blessing make sure you mean it. That one needs to come from the spirit in your heart. If you have ever been told you are a blessing, accept that compliment with grace and dignity it deserves. Somebody really cares for you.

2 Score

Within a week I will have reached the 2 score mark in age. It hardly seems possible really when I feel like the longer I am on the planet and the more I learn, the less I really really know.
One thing I do know for certain is that if you would have told me even 20 years ago that I was going to be teaching in Korea I would have shook my head and laughed at the utter nonsense of the the thought.
My goal was always to teach in my hometown. To follow my mentors and give back what was given to me. To make my family proud and to become a caring and quality educator. I never was the best in class at anything but I knew how to try really hard and I figured that if I tried really hard at teaching then something good would come out of it. Nope, I was going to stay where my roots where so firmly planted until the end of my days.
Well fast forward to my life now. Do I regret it? No. Will I ever be able to go back to that dream I had all those years ago? No. Do I want to? I don't know. This was not the life that was ever modled for me and yet here I am planning travel to at least 3 different destinations in the next 9 months. Where are the roots that are so firmly planted four generations deep now?
I have selfishly given up a lot of things in my life for this opportunity but now I cannot imagine changing it. Except now I wonder. I wonder of course what tomorrow brings like most of us. Even more so I wonder what will happen in the next 2 score of my life if I am that lucky. Where will I be. What will I be doing. Will anybody be by my side? All fantastic and curious questions now. There will be love and loss. Friendships that come and go. But I will not be able to look back on my life and say that I haven't done something. Being an educator, no matter where you are is doing something.
If nothing else, I don't want to have set plans for my next 2 score years. I want to live them regrets and all. I want to feel young on the inside even if I am old on the outside.
Mr. Lincoln started one of the most influential and shortest speeches of his presidency with the words "Four score and seven years ago...." I just see more and more that I have a great deal yet to complete if I am lucky to make it to that age myself. When you are almost halfway there you come to realize that you best keep moving because there is a lot of living yet to be done.
With that...here is to my next score of years. Hopefully they are well lived and full of stories to share.