Time to send up a big part of my heart tonight.
I am not going to lie. Coming back to Korea for year five has been really difficult. It is a home in so many ways but it isn't Idaho. I go back to Idaho and it is home in so many ways but never is as it once was before I left. I am not saying that is a bad thing. I also don't always agree with the adage "Home is where you hang your hat" either.
For me home is where you are loved for the person you are, in the place that you are, doing something that enriches your soul. It is not a physical space on a map it is inside your heart. If that is really true, if I subscribe to that theory, then what makes home truly home to me?
Easy.
The people. The people in my life make anywhere in the world my home. As we become socially more introversive and turn to every electronic gadget known to human kind, our family dynamic changes as well. It has to because of time and distance. Socially gatherings at the local dance hall every Friday night, meeting your significant other at the top spot for food or a cold drink doesn't happen much except in the movies. Because of this, enlarging your family in the more old fashioned way is becoming harder and harder to do. It is to the point that seeing someone find a great relationship to be a part of and get married and start a family is truly a rare gem of an experience to witness. So I can watch my time on this earth slip away or I can redefine a critical aspect of it. Let's define shall we? What was once my family has become my framily. My blood relatives will always be at the core of my life but my friends are as much a part of who I am today as anyone I could be biologically linked to.
Maybe it is a midlife crisis talking. Maybe it is the fear that I will be alone the remainder of my life in the more traditional sense. Who really knows the reason, but I am putting it out there that my true friends are now a large part of what I define as my family. The amazing part of this is it makes my life so rich globally. I can find framily across the world now. I can know that when I am in need of a bit of wisdom or encouragement it is out there in so many different time zonesI can hardly count them all. I will not have to grow old alone anymore. Someone will care. They may not be on the same continent that I am on but someone will care.
But I am not a fool in this declaration. This is not the yellow brick road leading to all things perfect. Framilies have the same intricacies as any family does. They fight. There can be jealousy. They hurt intentionally or unintentionally. They don't play well with others in the framily unit. They take physically, emotionally, and even spiritually at times. They also laugh with you and share in your confidences, joys, and sorrows. They hope for the best for you even if that means letting go of you for months or years at a time. They love unconditionally. They will sacrifice for you when you need them the most. Just as with any family though, the hardest part of being in a framily is that sometimes they just leave. Even harder still, you have to let them go. With that comes grief just like in any other form of relationship.
Knowing the positives and negatives of what a framily has to offer, I wouldn't change it. In fact I think it is a concept that is growing more and more each day. I am just dang lucky I have what I have now. It is often said that you can count your true friends on one hand. That may still hold true. But now my true friends, my framily, just happen to live around the world. Whether it is tomorrow or two years from now, if I reach out to them the will still love me for who I am and we will keep making memories and supporting each other as if no time has passed at all.
How awesome is that? Seriously. That is really freakin' awesome! The rhetoric of the media these days commonly asks us to rethink our definition on many different, highly charged emotional, moral, and sometimes just plain ridiculous issues. Sometimes it is just to win favor for their way of thinking.
I am not asking any of you who read this to rethink what family and home mean to you. I am just saying that for me, the landscape looks different and I am content in the fact that I know I am going to be okay no matter where I end up in the world. For me it is infinitely more valuable to invest in such a caring community of friends. Each are perfectly imperfect just like me.
Framily Rules.
